Big Bang theory might not be the theory of everything but The Big Bang Theory is one of the most favourite series of mine. I know some of you, who used to watch it, are not finding it interested any more. But yes, I still love the show.
Rajesh Koothrappali is one of favourite characters. He used to be more shy and needy one, almost like me. But throughout the seasons he has been changing a lot. Now, in new episodes, you can see his hair style is very similar to Kunal Nayyar.
A year and a half back I had purchased his book Yes, My Accent is Real to restart my reading habit. It took few months to start the book and almost a year to complete it. Well, was restarting book reading after a long time. You know what I mean. Now, again, I am writing about it after a half year. And that’s another story about my writing.
It is a wonderful book to read. Very heart touching that I almost relived every tiny moments of his life with big impacts on mine. Now Kunal Nayyar is also my favourite person along with Rajesh. Because Rajesh is what I used to be, not that I needed any chemical influence to talk to girls, and Kunal is what want to be.
After completing this book, I started to wonder what is my real accent in life. Because sometime it seems like even I am not able to understand myself. Then I wonder, how others are going to understand me?
Or may be I should stop worrying about others to understand me and focus on more to follow up myself.
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So, as usual, I was not able to sleep. As I tried to sleep early, could not push mind into the deep, it did not take long to the flood of thoughts to rush in. Like it was time for a revision of life happened yet. With each revision, I wonder how differently I think with new experiences and bubbles of many ideas floats in the air. Well, I can write a very brief summary of various things comes with the flood.
“I cannot believe the position where I am sitting on right now. Or am I standing somewhere. On my own feet! I cannot decide for sure. Sometime it seems like I am flying. The thin air of coldness hitting on my face with a whisper into my ears. Or is it just a dream. A deep dream of a flight. But then, eventually I have to return to the reality that I am just that ordinary guy with a goggles on face to look out for those nightmares.
A reality of balance. Dreams on one side, equal amount of nightmares on another. A flight through cold thin air towards the warmth of the day which again starts with another cold night. That is the wave of the universe. To keep the balance in the nature.”
Well, with a hope to keep balance in life, I am back on track.
Those were normal days for me. This time there was no pressure for any resolution. It was just like a normal weekend. Yeah, sure! Me and friends had a small getogether just to keep up until midnight, fireworks and ususal ‘Happy New Year’ wishes. It was simple. We all had good meal and slept soon after 00:00:00.
Fast forward… It’s already 15th of Jan now. 15/365 of 2018 has already completed and still it feels like so normal as… you know.. normal. May be this what it is. Being an adult! I don’t know!!
I don’t know what has been coming. What would happen. 2017 was somewhat hurtful. But at the end somethings happened with goodness. Still some sadness found its way along with the happiness. But that’s okay now. I have realised that, both were just at the end of each side of the stick, which I am still holding, to balance myself on the rope hanging at something I cannot see in the mist.
I realised, I can do it. I capable enough to go through this mist. The realisation of not even being aware about the rope earlier, making me more… wise, I would say.
Hope I would see a whole new bridge at some point.
(Image credit: www.scienceabc.com)
Recently I had to do a lot of signing. Not the digital one. Hand written signatures. And I was terrified to find about my inability to write a proper signature. Almost felt like an illiterate. I remember the time in college when we had to do lot of writing in notebooks. Teachers did read notes fast to finish them on time. We used to write fast to keep ourselves synced with them. Our hand would run like an athlete. And now, my hand get frozen while writing a signature.
My job requires me to spend most of time on computers. Writing codes by typing them on keyboards. Not on papers. Which would be a total waste. Hence, now for me, it is very difficult to write on a paper.
While putting all those signatures, had been frozen at some point. Frustrated for not able to end it properly. I needed to resolve this.
So I decided to make some time out to start writing again. And bought a new ink pen. A beautiful black Parker pen with matte coat.
I am already loving it so much. It looks so cool, that it excites me to write more. Now on, I will try to write on paper more often.
Anything… I can write anything. It would like a first draft of most of the future blog posts.
That would be a great idea. Would help to improve the handwriting and also content of posts as in second draft on computer.
All this began with an idea of resolving the inability to write a proper signature fluently.
This post was first written on paper. Which was very different than what you have read here.
So, with a hope to write more on paper and on blog, I am pausing here. For one step at time.
It is a human nature that one chooses a favorite color based on inner feelings and personality has been developed within yet lifetime. From my young age I was very attracted to black. A darker theme with black canvas and white elements has always caught my eyes. In a way, I think, it was a representation of my inner-self.
Now it seems like this representative wants to change it’s avatar from being more dark to be more light. Now I tend to choose themes with white canvas in many places.
It is telling me to fill the vanilla canvas with many colorful elements. It now sees the life as of The Matrix like simulators where I can load any program for colorful output and experiences.
With the hope of keep being enlightened I have changed this blog’s theme color to a lighter one and I am loving it so much.
PS: I still use Darcula theme in Android Studio.